Can I Do This Again? How Success Can Cause Us to Doubt Ourselves
I pulled this directly from the pages of my journal…
Last Friday started with an unexpected honor. I finished a huge project at work and received an award. Despite being extremely uncomfortable standing up there in front of everyone, I have to admit, it felt pretty good.
But this week, a nagging doubt has been gnawing at me. At first, the sense of accomplishment felt like validation for all the hard work, sleepless nights, and sacrifices that went into completing the project. But as the week wears on, the sense of accomplishment is waning.
It doesn’t make any sense! I thought this would boost my confidence. But instead, it’s making me question my abilities and causing me to doubt myself.
I’m starting to wonder, what if this was just a fluke? Can I even do this again? People will have expectations now. What if I can’t live up to those expectations?
Today, we will explore:
The fear that once we experience success, we won’t be able to do it again
Ways to redefine what success means to us so we are not stuck trying to repeat something we’ve already done; and
A five-part approach to visualizing success in a way that prepares us not only to achieve it, but to become comfortable with it.
Part 1: The Problem
I know it sounds strange, but a lot of us can experience one or more emotional barriers that we associate with the idea of success. It's not that we don't want to succeed, but we worry about what might happen if we do.
Some of these include:
Fears of increased responsibility
Higher expectations
Pressure to perform
Increased attention
How others may react
This list could easily become a very long one, but today I would like to dial in on one that many of us have experienced at some point in our lives, and that I have struggled with myself. It’s that feeling when we achieve something significant or experience success, we start to worry that we won't be able to do it again. Nobody wants to be a One Hit Wonder.
On the heels of a noteworthy accomplishment, we have set a precedent and there may now be an expectation for us to continue to operate at that level and repeat that success.
This can be an expectation on the part of others, such as parents, coaches, teachers, bosses or teammates, but most likely, this is an expectation we place on ourselves. And that creates pressure, and believe it or not, even though we have already achieved this success, instead of building on that momentum and gaining confidence and accomplishing even bigger things, we end up doubting ourselves and saying things like, “I don’t know if I can do this again!”
We may also worry that we will lose our status, reputation, or respect if we fail or fall short in our next endeavor.
For me, it felt like failing now would be worse somehow than before because I was no longer under the radar. It felt like all eyes were on me to continue to operate at this new level. I worried that others would discover that I’m not as good as they thought I was, or that I would end up disappointing everyone at some point. I wondered if I was just lucky or if I even deserved the recognition in the first place.
This took away the joy of my accomplishment and led to an increased fear of failing.
Part 2: The Solution
Rather than trying to duplicate the same success, we may just need to think about measuring success in different ways. The extent of our future success may not be measured in receiving an award, finishing an even bigger project or getting even better grades, but rather, it can be measured in self-improvement.
Did we improve? Are we a better student, musician, athlete, actor or employee than we were yesterday, last week, last month or last year?
By redefining what success means to us, we can set new goals that challenge us in different ways. We can focus more on growing and learning, and less on trying to prove ourselves or impress others.
Meditation cultivates self-awareness and mindfulness, which can help us better understand our own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This self-awareness can lead to a greater understanding of our thought patterns and where we tend to place our attention.
By becoming more aware of our tendencies to put this unnecessary pressure on ourselves and focus on achievements or status, we can learn to shift our focus to the value of our work and our contribution beyond external rewards or validation.
Practicing mindfulness teaches us to stay in the present moment. Let’s face it, a lot of what occupies our thoughts are either things that happened in the past or things we imagine will happen in the future.
This is a prime example. We are thinking back on past success and worrying that we will not be able to reproduce it in the future.
Learning to continually bring our focus to the present moment allows us to find more joy and satisfaction in the progress we are making now, rather than postponing our happiness by constantly looking to the future in the hopes that we can duplicate something that happened in the past.
Part 3: Visualizing Success Differently
Another way we can begin to change our relationship with success is through visualization. But there is a difference between simply imagining ourselves achieving a goal and actually preparing ourselves to experience success.
When we visualize success, we often jump straight to the highlight reel. We imagine standing on the podium, getting the promotion, crossing the finish line, hearing the applause, or seeing our name at the top of the list.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but we can take visualization a step further. Instead of simply imagining the outcome, we can imagine what it is actually like to experience success and everything that comes with it.
Here are five things we can include:
1. Picture the Finish Line
Rather than creating a vague picture of ourselves “being successful,” let's get specific.
What exactly has happened?
Maybe you’ve just finished a major project. Maybe you received the promotion you’ve been working toward. Maybe you’ve walked out of a meeting after giving a presentation you were nervous about. Perhaps you’ve completed a race, passed an exam, or finally finished writing the book you’ve been writing.
Picture the exact moment when you know: I did it.
The more specific you can be, the easier it becomes to engage with the experience.
2. Make It Real
Now bring that moment to life.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
What does the room look like? Who is there? What are you wearing? What can you feel physically?
If you’ve just finished giving a presentation, maybe you can hear the applause, feel your feet planted on the floor, notice the expression on someone's face, and feel your breathing begin to settle.
You aren't simply watching yourself succeed from a distance. You are experiencing the moment as though you are actually there.
3. Feel the Moment
Success isn't always one big feeling of excitement and confidence.
You might feel nervous beforehand, overwhelmed in the moment, relieved afterward, and then proud once everything has had a chance to sink in. Allow the visualization to include those emotions.
If you know that success may initially feel uncomfortable, you don't have to interpret that discomfort as a sign that something is wrong. You can experience the nerves, move through them, and allow yourself to enjoy the accomplishment on the other side.
4. Picture What Comes Next
This is where you take visualization beyond the highlight reel.
What happens the next day? What changes because you’ve succeeded?
Maybe there are higher expectations. Maybe you’re responsible for a bigger project. Maybe people are looking to you for leadership. Maybe you have to make decisions you haven't had to make before.
Instead of avoiding those possibilities, picture yourself handling them.
You don't have to imagine everything going perfectly. You can simply see yourself responding calmly, asking for help when you need it, learning from mistakes, and continuing to do the work.
This is particularly useful when your fear isn't really about achieving success. It's about what you believe success will require from you afterward.
5. Become Comfortable With Success
Finally, let's move away from the specific achievement and back toward who you are.
Rather than telling yourself, “I am going to win,” or “I am going to be successful,” imagine yourself as the kind of person who succeeds consistently and is comfortable with it.
Someone who can work hard without needing constant validation. Someone who can accomplish something significant without immediately wondering whether it was a fluke. Someone who can handle greater responsibility without assuming they have to be perfect.
The goal isn't to convince yourself that you will always succeed. That's neither realistic nor particularly helpful. The goal is to become comfortable with the idea that success belongs in your life.
You can achieve something significant without having to prove that you deserved it. You can accept recognition without becoming dependent on it. And you can move forward without feeling like every future accomplishment has to match the last one.
That's a very different way of visualizing success.
Instead of asking, “Can I do that again?”, we begin asking, “Who do I want to be as I continue moving forward?”
Conclusion
We don't have to prove ourselves to anyone or live up to anyone else’s expectations. We just have to continue to do our best.
Success is not a one-time thing. But, instead of dwelling on repeating what we’ve already accomplished, we can welcome new opportunities and possibilities with an open mind and remember all of the things that made us successful in the first place.
Because we don't have to be a One Hit Wonder. We just have to keep showing up, keep learning, and keep moving forward.
Join Us
Check out our latest guided meditation designed to help you overcome the fear of success and the expectations that come with it. Check out Workforce Nation: Meditation for Work-Life Harmony here on YouTube or on my Podcast (below). Together, we'll let go of the pressure to repeat past accomplishments and learn to approach what's next with confidence, curiosity, and an open mind.
"When we step out of the shadow of expectation, we unlock the door to endless possibility."
